Tuesday, December 27, 2011
It is perhaps the most self serving, egocentric, arrogant bullshit anyone could ever believe because it insinuates that when bad shit happens to everyone else, it's because they're just not as important as the folks that don't suffer.
I can't believe people don't realize how ridiculous they sound and how insensitive they are towards others when they say that kinda shit. People tend to share stories like this around 9/11. It's always the same stupid story with the same egocentric ending.
"I was supposed to be on that flight/in the World Trade Center/at the Pentagon that day, but for some coincidental reason, I wasn't because somebody was watching out for me that day." I guess the other thousands of people that died or were hurt on 9/11 just had crappy guardian angels who were stuck in traffic.
People tell that same story all the time, not just in relation to 9/11.
"I was in a car accident that should have killed me."
"I was late for work the day my usual train derailed."
"I was supposed to be in that mall that got blown up, but I got lost."
"I was sick the day that anthrax was mailed to my office."
Each and every story brandishes its on unique broadsword of bullshit and stabs the rest of us square in the gut. Worst of all, they usually follow the guardian angel bullshit with the, "God certainly works in mysterious ways," bullshit.
Somehow, despite everyone's beliefs, everyone has been a victim of misfortune. Explain that to me. Ok, so you missed United flight 93, but what about the heart attack you had last year? Sure, you weren't on the train that derailed, but your beloved pet was in the middle of the tracks the next day. Yes, it's wonderful you didn't get anthrax, but what about the herpes you got from that hot bartender you fucked last night?
NONE of us get through life unscathed. Life is fucking HARD, ok? If life weren't hard, then surely at least one person between the dawn of time an now would have survived it. No one has and no one will and even if someone does, they won't have spent their time on this earth in 100% comfort either.
How can you possibly believe that you have your own imaginary friend or invisible force that doesn't watch out for ANYONE in the universe but you when throughout your life, terrible things have happened to you and you have yet to see the benefit of most of them? How can you really be happy that something that you narrowly escaped still managed to hurt or even kill someone else? How can you jack yourself off by saying, "Well, MY guardian angel was just better than hers that day."
There's a ginormous difference between thanking your lucky stars, which means, "Holy shit, that could just as easily have been me instead of that poor schmuck," and really believing some selective dipshit angel literally swooped down and saved you because YOU are just so special and that other poor schmuck isn't.
You know, if you really did have a guardian angel, he wouldn't be watching over you all the time. The guardian angels probably all place bets on each others' subjects and whoever loses doesn't get to help their subject that day. So, your good fortune is still just the product of luck and coincidence.
Just because you might be "better" than someone at something doesn't mean you don't get to struggle or die. This isn't a fucking episode of the Bachelor! It's life. It's hard. Bad shit happens. We all die. Stop deluding yourself with your invisible beings because one day, bad shit will happen to you and you'll beyond angry at this nothingness for not doing its job that you'll go insane. How could your invisibuddy betrayed you?! If you had a spouse that was as inconsistent as your guardian angel, you'd divorce his lame ass faster than Kim Kardashian.
Life is full of obstacles, some of which you have to overcome all by yourself. Sometimes there is no one there for you. Quite often, there may be no one there for you. Making up a fake friend to be there for you is not going to save you. If you don't realize that now, you're not going to grow as a human being; you're going to spend the rest of your life stuck in a weekly edition of A Tale of Two Assholes. Pin It