Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Almost inspired to pray

I was ALMOST inspired to pray today. As I've mentioned before, I am a HUGE animal lover. I volunteer for the local Humane Society, I always advocate rescue when I can, I do my best to inform people I know about things like puppy mills and poor pet nutrition and I spend an inordinate time looking at, "Awwww," pictures on the web.

I was on my way home from a late night out with friends. I exited the interstate and turned on to my street. It's one of the busiest streets in my county, even late at night, but it's not very well lit. hen I saw a medium sized, black and tan dog standing LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE of the road with traffic whizzing all around him, my heart nearly stopped. All I could do was honk my horn, flash  my brights hope with all my heart and mind that he would get out of the road. I could do little more than keep my fingers crossed that the vision of the driver in the lane next to mine worked well in the dark.

The dog had no collar and presumably no tag. I feel guilty for not picking him up, but there seemed to be no way for me to do so. Plus, I have no food for a dog and no way to take care of it until I am able to find the owner. Without tags, I'd inevitably have to take it to Animal Control, where he'd likely get put to sleep anyway. Apparently, Georgia law prohibits taking found animals to rescue groups without contacting Animal Control first. I didn't know what to do. I continue to hope of all hopes that other drivers are as observant and gracious as I am. I know most of them aren't and fear for this poor little creature is still haunting me.

I think any atheist that was brought up with any kind of religion has moments like these. Moments where hope isn't enough, moments of vulnerability that inspire a romantic memory of belief in prayer. Personally, I experience them often, even with things that might seem frivolous to the next person, such as hoping there will be no dog blood in the street. I do find myself missing that idea of, "God will take care of it," and, "If I pray really hard, the situation will come out for the best."

Unfortunately, even in those moments of vulnerability, when I wish I could believe, reality sets in. Supposing I did believe in God and his will and his plan, how would I know that the dog getting killed wouldn't just be "for the best?" Even those that "know" the power of prayer are doomed to admit that shit is going to happen. The only solace they have is that it's "for a reason.," which, admittedly, is a nicer thought than, "Because the universe is a cunt sometimes." 

For this, even while rolling my eyes, feeling my skin crawl ever so slightly, and wishing they had something more intelligent and insightful to say, and even knowing they probably won't even really do it, I can't be too harsh on anyone that tells me they're praying for me.

Image stolen from icanhascheezburger.com who probably stole it from someone else.
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